i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
