They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You ate ashes out of my bong
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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