absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize