i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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