everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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