I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
