And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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