dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
