I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
