I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
