My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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