I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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