Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
