Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
