Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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