Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
