I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
