It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
