she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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