I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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