At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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