you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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