I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
