why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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