Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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