i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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