I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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