i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
