You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
