We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
