You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
