pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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