ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
