hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
