Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
