I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
