ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
