I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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