im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
its not stalking. its research.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
