I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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