ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
