I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she smelled like a LAN party
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
where are you?
Hypothermia
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
