Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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