I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
