You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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