based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
