Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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