The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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