I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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