Me. At least after what I've been through.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
