my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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