I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
