Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
