Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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