Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
