Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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