1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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