I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
