I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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