She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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