Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
