only you would photoshop your dick
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
