How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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